SeekingSolace-YM

Seeking Solace

by Yasmin Mogahed


I think that finding solace is a perfect title because it’s something that we all want. No matter what you believe, whether you believe in God or you don’t believe in God, whether you’re a Muslim or you’re a non-Muslim. We as human beings all on the same thing: we all want solace, we all want peace, internal peace, we all want happiness. 

The question is how do we find these things. Where do these things exist especially when we live in a world that isn’t perfect. We live in a world called dunya and dunya by definition is not perfect. Dunya is the lesser life. We know that there is the higher life and there is the lower life. We now are in the lesser life and the higher life is the life in the hereafter. That life in Jannah in sha Allah is the perfect life. But we live in dunya right now and it is not perfect and in dunya we are going to face hardship and in dunya we are going to face struggle and we are going to face adversity and we are going to face tests. Allah swt has reminded us of this in the following ayahs: 

Surah 2: Al-Baqarah (155 – 157) 

Verse 155

وَلَنَبْلُوَنَّكُم بِشَىْءٍ مِّنَ ٱلْخَوْفِ وَٱلْجُوعِ وَنَقْصٍ مِّنَ ٱلْأَمْوَٰلِ وَٱلْأَنفُسِ وَٱلثَّمَرَٰتِ ۗ وَبَشِّرِ ٱلصَّـٰبِرِينَ

Be sure we will test you with something of fear and hunger and loss in goods or lives or the fruits of your toil but give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere.

Verse 156

ٱلَّذِينَ إِذَآ أَصَـٰبَتْهُم مُّصِيبَةٌ قَالُوٓا۟ إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَإِنَّآ إِلَيْهِ رَٰجِعُونَ

Those who when a calamity befalls them, they say, “To Allah do we belong and to Allah we will return.”

Verse 157

أُو۟لَـٰٓئِكَ عَلَيْهِمْ صَلَوَٰتٌ مِّن رَّبِّهِمْ وَرَحْمَةٌ ۖ وَأُو۟لَـٰٓئِكَ هُمُ ٱلْمُهْتَدُونَ

Those are the ones upon whom are blessings from their Lord and mercy. And it is those who are the [rightly] guided. 

”Be sure we will test you with something of fear and hunger and loss in goods or lives or the fruits of your toil but give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere”. Looking at this ayah from the surah Al-Baqarah we see that Allah is telling us, Allah is preparing us, Allah is warning us that He will test us. And He tells us in this ayah some of the ways in which He tests us. Allah says “Be sure that you will be tested”. You know if you’re living in a city and there’s a test for Emergency Broadcast System. Sometimes there’s a siren where I grew up we used to have tornadoes in the Midwest and so there was a siren for a tornado to let people know that a tornado was about to hit or that a tornado had been spotted. This is a tornado siren, an emergency siren but every month they would test the siren to make sure it works but we knew that it was a test. We were told that this siren is a test.  

Feeling fear

Allah is warning us, He’s preparing us that this is a test. We will surely test you of something of fear. What tortures us in this life. What are the things that we suffer from in this life. One of the things that we suffer from in this life is anxiety. It’s the feeling of fear and we have to worry about losing things. We have to worry about the people that we love. We’ve all felt it. From the moment you’re born you know what it feels like to be afraid. We feel it. “وَلَنَبْلُوَنَّكُم” We will test you with something of fear and something of hunger a little bit.  

Now this is the thing about dunya. Dunya is just a piece of these things. “بِشَيْءٍ” here means something of. Something of fear. But you know what real fear is? Real fear is what a person feels when they’re about to enter hellfire. That’s real fear. But Allah shows us a piece of that in this life. What does that do? It makes us realize that I got to protect myself. We know what fire looks like in this life because we’ve seen it and we felt it. But believe me it’s not like the fire of the next life. It’s just the sample. Everything in this life is just a sample. We have samples of fear. We have samples of hunger. We have samples of fire but we know that the fire of this life is not like the fire of the next life. It’s just a sample. 

woman happy smelling perfume

On the other hand, do you know what it feels like to be happy? We have a sample of that. Do you know what love feels like? Yes, we have a sample of that. But it is not quite happiness involve in Jannah. It’s just a sample. Do you know what is a pomegranate and it looks like? Do you know what a pomegranate tastes like? Yes, but it’s just a sample of the hereafter. But it’s not the same thing. It’s just for us to see it and feel it and then want more. You see that. But it isn’t intended to be perfect. You know when you go to the store and if they want you to buy their perfume, what do they do? They put out samples. You have a sample of the perfume. The purpose is for you to try the perfume. You smell just a drop of the perfume and it makes you want more and it makes you want to buy a little bottle. That’s the purpose. Allah also give us samples in this life and there are samples of Jahannam and there are samples of Jannah. 

Losing Money

Among those samples is a sampling, something of fear and hunger and loss. We will experience loss. But what tells us? So when it happens why are we surprised? Why are we surprised when we lose things? When we lose money or when we lose people in our lives or we lose health or we lose status? Why are we surprised? When Allah has warned us and told us to prepare for that. That’s what this life is. There are tests and when We test them the loss of some of these things. Loss of good things that you own. Loss of lives of people that you love. That’s a part of dunya. 

We know that everything in this live is passing away except for the face of Allah swt. Only Allah doesn’t pass away. Everything else is passing away. Something of good, something of lives and the fruits of our toil. You know “الثَّمَرَاتِ”, the fruit that you get after you’ve spent so much hard work harvesting, so much hard work planting the seeds and working and then the harvest. It’s the fruit that you get from your hard work. Have you ever put in a lot of work into something before? Have you ever put in a lot of work into a relationship before? Have you prepared in a lot of work into planning an event, to write in the paper before? You have and every time you put in a lot of work and every time you put in a lot of effort do you always see the results that you want? No. This is part of dunya. Sometimes we will not get the results that we want. That is part of dunya. We should not be surprised when that happens. “But I put in so much effort. But I put in so much work. Why didn’t I get the result?” 

working hard

Well Allah tells us that this will happen that we will lose things even in our results. That’s Allah gives us solace. Allah says “وَبَشِّرِ الصَّابِرِينَ”, “But give glad tidings to those who have patience”. Those who patiently persevere. But who are those? Allah goes on to tell us and to describe who those people are in the next ayah: “Those who when a calamity befalls them, they say “إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَإِنَّا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعُونَ””, “To Allah do we belong and to Allah we will return”. Usually we hear the statement when someone dies. But this is not just a statement that we say with our tongues. This is not just a statement that we say only when someone dies. This is an entire worldview. This is a paradigm. This is how you see the world. “Inna lillahi” is the first part and it’s the foundation of this response. “Inna lillahi” is the foundation of the response of sabr. You cannot have patience until you understand it. Until you understand that indeed we all belong to Allah and everything that you own. Everything that you have belongs to Allah. It doesn’t belong to you. Don’t think that your children belong to you. Don’t think that your spouse belongs to you. Don’t think that your own body belongs to you or your health or your beauty belongs to you or your money. All of these things belong to Allah.  

Innalillahi wainna ilaihi rajiun

Now if something belongs to someone and they come and take it back, is it their right or not? If I let you borrow something that belongs to me and then I go to you and I ask for it back or I take it back, isn’t my right or is it not my right? If it belongs to me it is my right to take it back because its mine. So the first part is “Inna lillahi”. If we understand that everything we have is a gift and it belongs to Allah it doesn’t belong to me then when it is taken away I can respond with “Wainna ilaihi rajiun”, “and indeed we are all returning to Him”. We said everything is passing away except for Allah swt. So everything is returning to Him. When I lose something that I love I am able to have patience. If I understand this concept. “Inna lillahi” it always belonged to Allah. When I get sick, when I lose someone I love it always belonged to Allah and to Him it returns.  

This is the response that Allah describes. And then Allah in the next ayah goes on to say what is the result, what is the reward of having this response? “أُولَٰئِكَ عَلَيْهِمْ صَلَوَاتٌ مِّن رَّبِّهِمْ وَرَحْمَةٌ ۖ وَأُولَٰئِكَ هُمُ الْمُهْتَدُونَ  

Those people who responded this way when they are tested with fear and hunger and loss. “Those people will have these priceless gifts showered upon them”. “أُولَٰئِكَ عَلَيْهِمْ صَلَوَاتٌ مِّن رَّبِّهِمْ” First, the blessings of Allah will be showered on them. Second “وَرَحْمَةٌ” “and His mercy”. Can anyone quantify these things? Can anyone put a price on the blessings and mercy of Allah? These are priceless. You can’t price these things. They are given to you when you are struck with a hardship. When you are struck when something is taken from you that you love. And you respond in this way. In exchange for that response you get something priceless. You get something that you can’t quantify. The blessings of Allah and the mercy of Allah. And finally “وَأُولَٰئِكَ هُمُ الْمُهْتَدُونَ”, “Those who are guided”. The guidance of Allah. 3 priceless things. Allah swt asks us a question in the Quran He says: 

Surah 2: Al-Baqarah (214) 

Verse 214

أَمْ حَسِبْتُمْ أَن تَدْخُلُوا۟ ٱلْجَنَّةَ وَلَمَّا يَأْتِكُم مَّثَلُ ٱلَّذِينَ خَلَوْا۟ مِن قَبْلِكُم ۖ مَّسَّتْهُمُ ٱلْبَأْسَآءُ وَٱلضَّرَّآءُ وَزُلْزِلُوا۟ حَتَّىٰ يَقُولَ ٱلرَّسُولُ وَٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ مَعَهُۥ مَتَىٰ نَصْرُ ٱللَّهِ ۗ أَلَآ إِنَّ نَصْرَ ٱللَّهِ قَرِيبٌ

Do you think that you will enter Jannah without such trials coming or passing you as came upon those before you? “They were so shaken that even those people that the prophets and those who were with them” said, “When will the help of Allah comes?” Indeed the help of Allah is near. 

earthquake

In this ayah Allah asks us a question. He says to us. “Do you think that you will enter Jannah without such trials coming or passing you as came upon those before you?” “مَّسَّتْهُمُ الْبَأْسَاءُ وَالضَّرَّاءُ” “They encountered suffering and adversity”. “وَزُلْزِلُوا” you know this word “Zulzilu”, it shares the same root as the word for earthquake. “Zulzilu” means that those people they were so shaken. They were shaken. They were given adversity and hardship so much and they were shaken so much to the extent ‘حَتَّىٰ يَقُولَ الرَّسُولُ وَالَّذِينَ آمَنُوا مَعَهُ مَتَىٰ نَصْرُ اللَّهِ”, “They were so shaken that even those people that the prophets and those who were with them”. That the messenger and those who were with them said “When will the help of Allah comes”. “مَتَىٰ نَصْرُ اللَّهِ”. But the ayah Allah swt gives us solace and He says ‘أَلَا إِنَّ نَصْرَ اللَّهِ قَرِيبٌ”, “Indeed the help of Allah is near”. That is the solace. That no matter what you’re going through.

First of all, you know that you are not the first or the last person to go through it. You’re not the first or the last person to be tested. You’re not the first or the last person to be shaken. Even those who were with the prophets before us they were shaken so much that they said “مَتَىٰ نَصْرُ اللَّهِ”. But Allah comforts us. He gives us that solace and He tells us that the help of Allah is near. It isn’t far. One of the things that makes it hard for us to be patient is we see the help of Allah, we see the light at the end of the tunnel as so far away. Right. It’s such a long tunnel and the light is so far away. It is hard to be patient. Allah is telling us that it isn’t far away. It is near.  

Why does Allah give us hardships? Allah doesn’t need to give us hardships. Allah doesn’t benefit anything from giving us hardships. Allah doesn’t give us hardships to make things difficult on us. So why does Allah give us hardships? Allah swt tells us in the Quran:  

Surah 6: Al-An’am (42) 

Verse 42

وَلَقَدْ أَرْسَلْنَآ إِلَىٰٓ أُمَمٍ مِّن قَبْلِكَ فَأَخَذْنَـٰهُم بِٱلْبَأْسَآءِ وَٱلضَّرَّآءِ لَعَلَّهُمْ يَتَضَرَّعُونَ

Before them We sent to many nations apostles, and We afflicted the nations with suffering and adversity, that they might learn humility. 

“Before them We sent to many nations apostles, and We afflicted the nations with suffering and adversity, that they might learn humility.”“لَعَلَّهُمْ يَتَضَرَّعُونَ”. This is a very important word. “يَتَضَرَّعُونَ”. The word it comes from “Tadharraa’a”.  “Tadharraa’a” is an important concept which in order to really understand the concept of “Tadharraa’a” you have to imagine a person who’s in the middle of an ocean and they’re on a boat. Now as long as the boat is still and the ocean is still that person feels safe. As long as we have our money and we have the people at our side and you have our help and we have our youth, we feel safe.  

Man in the middle of the ocean

But then what happens when the storm hits. Now that person in the middle of the ocean is hit by a storm and there is no one to help them. That person will try to go for the life jacket but it’s not there. Will go for the light bulb is broken. This is us in a hardship. You know when we get hit by a hardship and the first thing we do is we go to the creation. We go to the creation for help. Sometimes we might go to people. Sometimes we might depend on our own selves. But it’s only when everything else closes.

making doa

Now imagine that this person has tried everything. You try to go to your friend. You try to go to your family. You try to go to your money. You try to go to the doctor. You try everything and only when everything else fails. Now what do you do? Now you look upward. That looking upward is the state that this person would be in is “Tadharraa’a”. Because it’s not “oh Allah please help me”. No, no. Its “Ya Allah, I am absolutely desperate. I have nowhere else to turn”. You know what that is “Tadharraa’a”. Allah gives us the storm so we can reach that state. What is so special about that state is that in that state we are nearest to Allah swt. That’s why it’s special. Because when we are in that state of realizing our need for Allah swt and not depending on anything else that we are nearest to Him. And so the storm itself becomes a gift because it brought us to that state. Nearest to Allah swt. “لَعَلَّهُمْ يَتَضَرَّعُونَ” in order that they will reach that state of the “Tadharraa’a”. Allah gives us. He gives us the gift of the storm to bring us to that state to bring us to Him.  

In another ayah: 

Surah 7: Al-A’raf (168) 

Verse 168

وَقَطَّعْنَـٰهُمْ فِى ٱلْأَرْضِ أُمَمًا ۖ مِّنْهُمُ ٱلصَّـٰلِحُونَ وَمِنْهُمْ دُونَ ذَٰلِكَ ۖ وَبَلَوْنَـٰهُم بِٱلْحَسَنَـٰتِ وَٱلسَّيِّـَٔاتِ لَعَلَّهُمْ يَرْجِعُونَ

And We divided them throughout the earth into nations. Of them some were righteous, and of them some were otherwise. And We tested them. We have tried them with both prosperity and adversity in order that they will come back (to us). 

“And We tested them” and this is important. “We tested them. We have tried them with both prosperity and adversity in order that they will come back (to us)”. There’s a number of points we have to reflect on here. First, we usually think that we’re only tested with hardship, right. You’re only being tested when you don’t have money. You’re only being tested when you don’t have your health. You’re only being tested when you lose things. And that’s not true. Allah tests us with our money. Allah tests us with our health. Allah tests us with our spouses and our children. Even those things are tests and often times it is in those tests the tests of prosperity and the tests of ease that we fail. How do we fail those tests? I’ll tell you how we fail those tests. We fail those tests because our money and our friends and our families distract us from the remembrance of Allah. And they make us believe that we don’t need Allah.

Because I got money in my bank account and I have my family around me and I have my security system around my house so I feel safe. But that’s an illusion because we’re always just as in need of Allah swt in that state as we were in the middle of the ocean. You see that. But we often times fail because we lose that perspective and we become distracted. So Allah tests us with both prosperity and with hardship. “لَعَلَّهُمْ يَرْجِعُونَ”. “In order that they come back to us”. What’s the point of the test? Allah doesn’t want to make things hard for us. Remember that. Allah wants to bring us back to Him. In order to come back to Him, Allah swt reminds us: 

Surah 3: Ali ‘Imran (140 – 141) 

Verse 140

إِن يَمْسَسْكُمْ قَرْحٌ فَقَدْ مَسَّ ٱلْقَوْمَ قَرْحٌ مِّثْلُهُۥ ۚ وَتِلْكَ ٱلْأَيَّامُ نُدَاوِلُهَا بَيْنَ ٱلنَّاسِ وَلِيَعْلَمَ ٱللَّهُ ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ وَيَتَّخِذَ مِنكُمْ شُهَدَآءَ ۗ وَٱللَّهُ لَا يُحِبُّ ٱلظَّـٰلِمِينَ

If a wound has touched you be sure that a similar wound has touched the others. Such days (of varying fortunes) we give to people and people by turns so that Allah may know those that believe and that He may take to Himself from your ranks martyr-witnesses (to truth) – and Allah does not like the wrongdoers. 

Verse 141

وَلِيُمَحِّصَ ٱللَّهُ ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ وَيَمْحَقَ ٱلْكَـٰفِرِينَ

And that Allah may purify the believers [through trials] and destroy the disbelievers. 

“If a wound has touched you be sure that a similar wound has touched the others. Such days (of varying fortunes) we give to people and people by turns so that Allah may know those that believe and that He may take to Himself from your ranks martyr-witnesses (to truth).” I love that statement “martyr witnesses to truth”. You know what happens when you’re tested. When you go through a hardship and you come out of that hardship purified, you know what you become? You become a martyr witness to truth. You become a witness to a deeper truth. Allah swt raises you in ranks when you overcome the test. When you pass the test, He brings you closer and closer and closer to Him and again the test is imposed prosperity and adversity.  

Allah goes on to say in the next ayah (141). Why He gives us these hardships to men and men by turn? One of the reason He says “وَلِيُمَحِّصَ اللَّهُ الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا”. Here Allah is saying that “He puts those who believe through a process of “tauhis (purify)”. The hardship is putting those who believe through a process of “tauhis”. What is “tauhis”? “Tauhis” is a word that is used to describe the purification of gold. You know how gold is purified? Well gold is full of impurities and in order to purify it you heat it up and when you heat up gold it removes the impurities. Allah does that with the believers. You understand. When we go through these hardships they heat us up. And through that process we are purified. That’s “tauhis”. Allah wants to purify those who believe and so He puts them through this process. How does hardship purify us? We go back to the example of the person the middle of the ocean. Have you guys ever been through a hardship where no matter where you turn every door was closed? You try to turn to the people in your life the door was closed. You try to turn to the experts the door was closed. You try to turn to your own efforts and your own abilities and the door was closed and every door is closed. What happens at that point is you turn to Allah swt alone. 

What Allah does in this process by closing all the other doors, He directs you only to Him. And so the hardship itself is purifying you from depending on other than Him. Because we go through our lives and we are all very dependent on these false senses of security. We are very dependent on our money. We are very dependent on our abilities and our health and our youth and you think yeah I’ll be fine. I’ve depended on these things.

Kobe Bryant

Yesterday I was reading some news and this is a big deal in the United States especially in California which I learned and that is that there is a very famous basketball player Kobe Bryant in America and he plays for the Lakers and he is one of the best players and people really look up to this man and they really as I learned are very attached and there is a lot to admire about his determination and his skill. But something happened to him. While he was playing on Friday he got injured and he posted actually a status on Facebook in which he is expressing his frustration and he’s like how could this happen. See when you’re dependent on your own abilities but when that doesn’t work out you don’t know what to hold on to. What can he do now that he can’t walk properly and potentially can’t play for an entire year.  

So this is a big deal to someone who is completely dependent on that ability. You understand. So through these things may Allah swt guide him and guide us these things don’t happen without a purpose. The goal is for us to find that purpose though but if we are put in those situations where we no longer can depend on our abilities and we don’t turn to Allah then we miss the point. We missed the point for us to depend on Him. And when Allah gives us a test you know a lot of us we grow up and our teachers and our parents tell us this life is a test, right, and so when we go through things in life we tell ourselves okay it’s just a test and sometimes we think of tests in the wrong way.

professor folding his arm

Many of us have been students or our students and we have a certain concept of a test. Our concept of a test is this image of a professor who hands you a test and then takes a step back folds his arms and watches you to see what you’re gonna do. This is how we conceive of the test. So we actually applied this same scenario to Allah. We think that Allah is giving us the test and then taking a step back just to see how we act as if Allah is separate as if it’s just on me and I’m on my own because when you’re taking a test in a classroom, are you allowed to raise your hand and say “professor I don’t know how to do this problem. I’m really not smart enough to do this. Can you help me?” If you do that that’s cheating, right, and you might get kicked out.  

So we have the same attitude when Allah tests us. We think okay this is a test we brace ourselves and we depend on ourselves and we think okay I got this okay I got this and we become firm and we become hard and that’s the absolute opposite of the point. The point of the test is so that you’ll raise your hand and ask for help. That’s the point. Allah isn’t giving us a test to see how we could do on our own because guess what we can’t do anything on our own and Allah knows that. “لا حول ولا قوة إلا بالله”. The prophet saw said that this statement is one of the treasures of Jannah. “لا حول” there is no change in state, “ولا قوة” there is no straight for power, ”إلا بالله” except by Allah.  

If you think that you can get through your hardship on your own based on your own abilities based on your own deeds then you are going to fall. And what ends up happening is the hardship increases and increases and increases until you humble yourself. Until you raise your hand and ask for help. Until you say “Ya Allah I don’t got this. I need you”.  

Have you studied the examples of those nearest to Allah swt. The examples in the Quran of the Prophets pbuh and how they responded in their hardship? Have we studied those examples? Let’s look at those examples.  

Yunus a.s. He was stuck, completely stuck. Can you imagine? Not just being on a boat in the middle of the ocean. Being inside the belly of the whale in the middle of the ocean. That’s his situation. He said “لَّا إِلَٰهَ إِلَّا أَنتَ سُبْحَانَكَ إِنِّي كُنتُ مِنَ الظَّالِمِينَ”, “There is nothing worthy of worship except for You. You are high above anything else. I was indeed among the wrongdoers”. You see. That dependence on Allah and acknowledgement of his own shortcomings and his own weakness and he was a prophet. What about us? “إِنِّي كُنتُ مِنَ الظَّالِمِينَ” humility. That is how we’re supposed to be in hardship. That is how we’re supposed to respond. And the Prophet saw teaches us that when we’re in a hardship we’re supposed to say this “لَّا إِلَٰهَ إِلَّا أَنتَ سُبْحَانَكَ إِنِّي كُنتُ مِنَ الظَّالِمِينَ” and Allah tells us that had he not turn to Allah in that way he would have stayed in that situation until the day of judgment till the end of time. That’s intense. We will stay in our situations until we have this response because that’s the point. 

Doa Nabi Yunus

Ayub a.s. was tested for years. Everything taken away from him. He had everything one moment and then he had nothing. His health was taken, his money, his wealth, his family and then finally his wife was going to leave and he turned to Allah. What did he say?  

Surah 21: Al-Anbiya’ (83) 

Verse 83

وَأَيُّوبَ إِذْ نَادَىٰ رَبَّهُۥٓ أَنِّى مَسَّنِىَ ٱلضُّرُّ وَأَنتَ أَرْحَمُ ٱلرَّٰحِمِينَ

And [mention] Job, when he called to his Lord, “Difficulty hardship has befallen me and You are the Most Merciful of the merciful”. 

“Difficulty hardship has befallen me and You are the Most Merciful of the merciful”. That’s how he turned to Allah. Again acknowledge his need, raising his hand and asking for help. 

Nuh a.s., after 950 years. Can you imagine how long do we try things like 900 I mean we try things for like maybe 950 seconds then we give up, right. 950 years of trying with his people or you know he’s alive for 950 years. Finally he turns to Allah:  

Surah 54: Al-Qamar (10) 

Verse 10

فَدَعَا رَبَّهُۥٓ أَنِّى مَغْلُوبٌ فَٱنتَصِرْ

So he invoked his Lord, “I am overtaken so give me victory I can’t do it on my own” 

He acknowledges “I am overtaken I am defeated so give me victory I can’t do it on my own”. And Allah gives him victory. “أَلَا إِنَّ نَصْرَ اللَّهِ قَرِيبٌ” “Indeed the help of Allah is near”.  

Allah swt tests us in order to give us. Allah does not test us just to leave us on our own because we can’t do it on our own. Therefore turning to Allah in your hardship is not a contradiction of patience. We sometimes think that when the hardship hits “I can’t cry because crying means I’ve not being patient”. This is wrong because we know that even the Prophet saw cried when his son died. And he says that the eyes shed tears and we feel that sadness but we will not complain against Allah. There is a very deep difference between complaining against Allah and complaining to Allah. You understand. The difference is that when you complain against Allah you are saying “Ya Allah how could You do this to me? Why me? How could this happen?” Like the response of Kobe Bryant, “How could this happen? But I did everything I sacrificed I gave my life. How could this happen. It’s a move I did so many times why did I fall this time”. That’s what he said. That’s complaining against Allah.  

Complaining to Allah is what the Prophet saw did at Taaif. It’s what the father of Yusuf as did when he lost his son. Complaining to Allah is raising your hand and asking for help. It’s the turning to Allah and saying “Ya Allah, I need you, Ya Allah, help me”. And crying to Allah does not contradict sabr. It’s complaining about Allah that contradicts sabr. The Prophet saw, after Taaif and we know the story and stones were thrown at him until he was bleeding and he was in such a state after losing his wife and losing his uncle, the two closest people to him, the two supporters he had and then after being humiliated in that way he turns to Allah. He says “oh Allah to You alone I complain”. He complained to Allah, as did Ayub as, as did Nuh as. 

We have to create a new criteria for determining whether something is good for us or whether something is bad for us. A lot of times our criteria of good and bad is just a dunya criteria. So we think that if I get more dunya then that means it’s a good thing. I just won the lottery, I just got rich then that means it’s a good thing. I lost money, I lost something that means it’s a bad thing. This is how we define but this is the wrong definition. We need to recreate the definition of good and bad to this. Anything that brings you closer to Allah even if it is fear or loss then it is good for you. Anything that brings you away from Allah even if it is all the money and the power and the status in the world is bad for you. So you may love something and it is bad for you and you may hate something and it is good for you. The criteria is only does it bring me closer to Him or does it take me away.  

We see this example in the Quran, the story of Qarun, a man who lived during the time of Musa as. In Surah al-Qasas, this man was so rich that even the keys to his property was in itself riches.  He had so much property that just the keys to his property was wealth. And he like many people who have a lot of riches which show it off. And you would walk in among his people and show off his money and show off his wealth and there were people as we have now who will look at him and say and Allah describes those people who want this life. Those people would look at him and say “oh I wish I had what he had.” And there would be another group of people who really had knowledge and they used to try to advise him to be grateful, be humble and you know what his response was “I got all this because of the knowledge in me”. What is he saying it’s because of me. It’s because of my hard work. It’s because of my efforts. It’s because of my brilliance that I have the success that I have. The things that I have and so his money made him arrogant and his money made him think that he was self-sufficient and Allah tells us what happened to him as a lesson for us. Allah tells us that him and his home they were swallowed by the earth. In what capacity Allah knows. He was swallowed by the earth and the ayah goes on to say that those people who just before that used to say “oh I wish I had what he had” they say now “we thank God we don’t have or we didn’t have what he had” because maybe if we had what he had we would have had the same fate. Sometimes these things that we think are good for us money and status and power they are actually not good for us if they make us arrogant or they take us away from Allah swt.  

On the other hand, the story of one of the greatest companions Malik ibni Dinar ra. This was a companion and we hear his story that he used to be someone who drink alcohol, he was basically an alcoholic. He would drink and one time he had a daughter and he loved this girl. And she was sort of would kind of push him away like he’d be holding alcohol and she push away the cup you sort of starting to  know get better and then when she was young she died. Now you can imagine what he went through. He was so devastated he said that he vowed that he would drink more than he ever drank before and he did and he passed out. While he was passed out he had a dream. In that dream he saw himself as though was the day of judgment. He found himself running away from this giant snake. As he’s trying to get away from the snake he sees an old man and he says to the old man help me. But the old man replies I’m too weak to help you. Then he goes and there’s it says that there was this open space and there’s children there and he hears his daughter’s name and he goes and he sees his daughter. And his daughter says to him, “Do you know what that snake was?” And she tells him that the snake was your bad deeds. “Do you know what that old man was?” And she tells him that the old man was your good deeds. Your good deeds were so weak they could not protect you against your bad deeds. And then he hears the ayah: 

Surah 57: Al-Hadid (16) 

Verse 16

أَلَمْ يَأْنِ لِلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوٓا۟ أَن تَخْشَعَ قُلُوبُهُمْ لِذِكْرِ ٱللَّهِ وَمَا نَزَلَ مِنَ ٱلْحَقِّ وَلَا يَكُونُوا۟ كَٱلَّذِينَ أُوتُوا۟ ٱلْكِتَـٰبَ مِن قَبْلُ فَطَالَ عَلَيْهِمُ ٱلْأَمَدُ فَقَسَتْ قُلُوبُهُمْ ۖ وَكَثِيرٌ مِّنْهُمْ فَـٰسِقُونَ

Has the time not come for the hearts of the believers would be humbled by the remembrance of Allah. And they would not be like those people who were given the Book before time went by and their hearts became hardened; and many of them are defiantly disobedient. 

“Has the time not come for the hearts of the believers would be humbled by the remembrance of Allah. And they would not be like those people who were given the Book before time went by and their hearts became hardened”. Then he wakes up and he decides to go pray fajr at the masjid. And when he goes, the imam recites the same ayah. Have our hearts become hardened? After this day, Malik ibni Dinar ra. became one of the greatest companions. Reflect on his life. Reflect on his story. What made him changed? What made him turn back to Allah? It was the loss of his daughter. It was a tragedy. A calamity but was that calamity ultimately good for him or bad for him? It was ultimately good for him. Allah swt brought him back by taking away his daughter. But if you look at it from the wider lens what do we see? Well this dunya is temporary. Allah took his daughter for a short period of time but in Jannah he with his daughter forever. So was it good for him or was it bad? 

There is a very beautiful story about a little boy who finds a cocoon. Every day the little boy would go to visit it until one day it was different. A small opening had appeared. The little boy watched the butterfly for a few hours as it struggled to force its body through the little hole. All of a sudden the butterfly stopped trying to get out of the cocoon. It didn’t seem to be able to go any more or to make any more progress. The butterfly was not moving anymore. So the little boy wants to help the butterfly out. The little boy decides to take a pair of scissors and very slowly with surgical precision and loving care cuts away the remaining bit of the cocoon being very careful not to hurt the butterfly and it works. The butterfly was now free and could easily come out of what was remaining of the cocoon. Except something strange happened. The butterfly’s body was swollen up and its wings were all shriveled and deformed. It didn’t look good. The little boy continued watching the butterfly thinking that at any moment the wings would expand to support its body and it would be able to fly. But neither happened. In fact the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and deformed wings. It was never able to fly. What the boy in his kindness and impatience did not understand was that the natural process of growth and life that the restrictive cocoon and the struggle through that little opening of the cocoon was what force fluid from the butterfly’s body into its wings so that it could be ready later to fly once it comes out of the cocoon. That butterfly needed to go through that struggle in order to be able to fly once it got out and by removing the struggle the butterfly was never able to fly.  

Allah swt gives us solace even within our hardships. Allah tells us “إِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا “. So often we think that it is after hardship is ease. But in this ayah Allah tells us with hardship is ease. The hardship and the ease come together. Allah may give you hardships, Allah may give you tests but at the same time He gives you ease and He gives you the ability to get through the tests and He gives you the ability to come out stronger. Allah tells us in surah Yunus: 

Surah 10: Yunus (58) 

Verse 58

قُلْ بِفَضْلِ ٱللَّهِ وَبِرَحْمَتِهِۦ فَبِذَٰلِكَ فَلْيَفْرَحُوا۟ هُوَ خَيْرٌ مِّمَّا يَجْمَعُونَ

Say, “In the favours of Allah and His mercy in those things let them rejoice. It is better than everything else that you can collect.” 

This ayah is talking about happiness. This ayah is talking about solace. This ayah is saying that “In the favours of Allah and His mercy in those things let them rejoice. It is better than everything else that you can collect”. Allah is better than everything else you collect. Because you can have all the money in the world and all the status and all the power but if you don’t have Allah you have nothing. You can lose everything else but if you have Allah, if you were brought nearer to Him than you have everything. And you are the one who is actually rich.  

Ibnu Qayyim says “Truly in the heart there is a void that cannot be removed except with the company of Allah. And in it there is a sadness that cannot be removed except with the happiness of knowing Allah and being true to Him. And in it there is an emptiness that cannot be filled except with love for Him and by turning to Him and always remembering Him. And if a person were given all of the world and what is in it, it would not fill this emptiness. He says also to love Allah, to know Him intimately, to remember Him constantly, to find peace and rest in Him, to make Him alone the ultimate object of love, fear, hope and trust, to base one’s actions on His control of His servants cares, aspirations and will. That is the heaven of this world. And such a blessing with which no other blessing can compare. It is by this that the hearts of those who love God are gladdened and that’s their fine life. As their hearts are gladdened by Allah so others are gladdened by them for whoever finds his source of happiness in Allah gives happiness to all hearts. Whoever does not, find nothing in this world but restlessness.”